


to hell with it

by daisy (Lea12)



Series: but everyone else (basically detectives/agents and criminals au) [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternative Universe - FBI, Bondage, Danger, Drabble Collection, F/M, I Tried, Obedience/Disobedience, Pain, Phone Sex, Spies & Secret Agents, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27759658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lea12/pseuds/daisy
Summary: My drabbles for Theon Greyjoy Kink Bingo.Chapter 1: Theon/Lyanna - obedience/disobedienceChapter 2: Theon/Allyria - danger (agents and undercover mission au)Chapter 3: Theon/Myrcella - bondageChapter 4: Theon/Jeyne - phone sexChapter 5: Theon/Arianne - pain
Relationships: Myrcella Baratheon/Theon Greyjoy, Theon Greyjoy/Allyria Dayne, Theon Greyjoy/Arianne Martell, Theon Greyjoy/Jeyne Poole, Theon Greyjoy/Lyanna Stark, referenced Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell
Series: but everyone else (basically detectives/agents and criminals au) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059638
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: Theon Greyjoy Kink Bingo





	1. Lyanna/Theon (obedience/disobedience)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you please fill out this questionnaire (fandom stuff, pairings and ideas...) to help me out with my writer's block? Pretty please?  
> https://forms.gle/nJpnSpSYfGbjK5FLA

Theon has a thing for older women, yes, and that never ends well for him. This certainly won't end well, considering this woman is his best friend's aunt and his other friend's mother (calling Jon his friend doesn't leave the best taste in his mouth, but for the lack of a better explanation it will do). It's not that big of an age difference, eleven to twelve years, it isn't that big of a deal.

He's more worried about her family finding out, like his best friend or the man he wants to call his father because he was his father more than his biological one or Jon killing him and nobody finding out or her exes finding out and joining forces to make him wish Jon killed him or the look Robb will give him (ugh, that look, he hates that look).

She comes into his flat like she owns the place and goes in for a kiss immediately, straddling him and laughing wickedly.

"Have you been a good boy?" Lyanna asks and he rolls his eyes, he hates that tone of hers. "Aw, is my baby angry?" Her eyes have that wild glint in them and he likes her eyes, even if they remind him of Jon and Arya, two people he doesn't want to think about, like ever. She just laughs it off, continuing to kiss him.

"Robb wants to meet you." It flies out of his mouth before he can stop himself and Lyanna stops kissing his neck, stiffening.

"Robb already knows me, since I am his aunt."

"Uh... He wants to meet my girlfriend."

"Is that what we are? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Will you buy me flowers for my birthday and shower me with gifts?" Her tone goes all annoying and she knows he hates that and he grunts.

"If that is what you want, sure."

"Aw, baby." She coos and he switches their positions, pushing her on the couch.

"I told him you're not in the city right now."

"Good. I don't want to deal with everyone fussing now."

"I'm more worried about people who will want to kill me if we go public."

"Oh, who would want to kill you?" Her annoying tone is back and he groans again.

"Your brothers, my best friend who happens to be your nephew, your son who is my friend, Rhaegar, Robert, hell, I'm scared of Arya and Rickon teaming up with Sansa for some horror plot." He pulls her in a kiss.

"That's a lot of people." She says through a kiss and he makes a noise of acknowledgment. "I want to try a new suit I bought. And you can lose your clothes while I change." She says, pulling him in a quick kiss before leaving for the bathroom and he stays there, sighing, thinking when did he get so whipped.

  
  


He hears the bathroom door opening and he turns around to see Lyanna, and fuck, that is not what he had in mind.

"Why aren't you undressed, young man?" She says, her tone stern and again, fuck.

"Fuck, Lya-"

"You didn't listen to my orders, you don't get to say my name. Undress yourself." She says, walking towards him and he is just starring at her, how gorgeous she is like that. She slaps him, hard. "I said, undress yourself."

"Fuck, okay-"

"Don't talk, do only what I tell you to do. Is that clear?" He nods, doing as she told him to do. "Good boy. Now, kiss your mistress." He gladly complies, eagerly, knowing very well this will be one of the greatest times they had sex.


	2. Theon/Allyria (danger)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you fill out this questionnaire if you didn't already? Or if you did and want to do it again, I don't mind, like at all:  
> https://forms.gle/nJpnSpSYfGbjK5FLA

Theon is a damn good thief, cunning and clever, which is why he ends up working with the feds, alright? Not because he is a loser and trusted someone he shouldn't trust, like his sister and family say, _no_.

No, he is caught by FBI in the middle of a heist because he has a plan and he gets to spend more time with Robb now. Robb, who helped in getting him caught, but also helped in making a bargain with the feds and turning him into a consultant or whatever his official title is (which according to Stannis is _a useful weasel who knows criminals_ ).

Like, life with feds isn't that awful, he is under Robb's protection, so they're roommates and that's basically what they dreamed of as kids, catching criminals and working together, and Quentyn the geek is fun to tease, Oakheart can be fun sometimes and Brienne is okay, if he keeps his mouth shut and plays nice.

But he misses his old crew, he misses Asha, Dany, Missandei and others. Hell, even Grey Worm.

  
  


It's a boring day, today, which he kind of likes as much as he dislikes, because he can't do anything fun in those days. He's playing with a tennis ball from Oakheart's table, waiting for Robb and Oakheart to come from Stannis's office. Brienne is writing a report, being a goody two-shoes as always and Quentyn is doing some nerd stuff on his computer. He misses Grey Worm's boring talks now.

He sees a new face walk past them and into Stannis's office. It's a pretty new face, and he hopes this girl is a new addition, because they need someone hot for missions, for all the hotness Robb embodies, they need a pretty face for undercover work.

"Did you see the pretty girl that walked into Stannis's office?" He asks and Quentyn almost spills his drink (he assumes it is coffee, but knowing him, it is probably cocoa) and Brienne looks up from her computer, confused.

"A girl?"Quentyn asks, stuttering and Theon chuckles.

"Yeah, pretty, black hair, piercing eyes."

"Agent Dayne will be joining us for this mission." Oakheart says behind him and Theon almost pisses his pants, jumping from Oakheart's chair. Oakheart just eyes him and sends that look. "Greyjoy, behave yourself, will you?"

"I'm always on my best behavior, don't worry." He sends him a wink.

  
  


Stannis walks out of his office, Robb and the pretty girl in a suit following him, but Stannis doesn't walk to their tables.

"This is Allyria Dayne, she will work on this case with us. Quentyn, pull up the case file, we don't have time to waste."

Allyria smiles at everyone, waving at Quentyn who spills his drink now over his jeans.

"We didn't meet, I'm Theon." He introduces himself while Quentyn cleans himself and Allyria offers him a less than genuine smile.

"Agent Dayne." They shake hands and he grins to himself, thinking about how stiff ones are always the best in bed.

  
  


The mission is Margaery Tyrell (no, but seriously, she is their mission, they have to protect her and some other shit, he didn't really follow). Brienne and him are playing up-and-coming actors (waiters, they're going as fucking waiter and waitress) at the gala, Robb is Margaery's bodyguard, Oakheart is playing Margaery's date, the lucky bastard and Quentyn being a Martell is invited to the gala and Allyria is his date (oh boy, he can't wait for that).

  
  


Robb is looking very cozy with Margaery and he wonders if Oakheart and him didn't switch the roles five minutes before the gala started, since Arianne Martell is flirting hard with Oakheart. Quentyn is a stuttering mess and Allyria is securing the parameter.

"Why do we always get the worst jobs? I mean Oakheart is getting Arianne freaking Martell's hands all over him, Robb is gonna stay in this villa for an adult sleepover with Margaery, Quentyn got a new, pretty agent whose eyes _sparkle_ as his date and we're serving appetizers to them. I have to wear stupid blonde wigs all the time, they clash with my eyebrows so hard." He complains to Brienne.

"You know we can hear everything you say, right?" Robb asks.

"I sure hope so." He retorts back.

"You're a criminal and I'm not the one for public, undercover stuff." Brienne answers and Theon tsks.

"You're way better than the tech virgin who can't hold a gun in _public, undercover stuff_."

"Theon!" Brienne yells at him. "Apologize to him."

"Why? I'm not lying."

"Fuck you, Theon." Quentyn says.

"Fine, I'm sorry, Q."

  
  


  
  


Fast forwarding to the interesting stuff, where Allyria notices sketchy guys and Robb is "protecting" Margaery in her room and Quentyn screams like a girl when guns start to get involved, Brienne is fighting the bad guys with Oakheart and Allyria and him end up being followed by the bad guys.

They're escaping them, trying to find a ground that'll let them have advantage and they hide in an office.

"Guard the door." She says, going to search for something through the desk.

"I'm all for some snooping and corporate espionage, but now is not the time to get some money on the side, beautiful."

"You have your mission, I have mine, so shut up and guard the door." Well fuck, huh?

"Fucking feds." He mutters under his breath, looking out for the bad guys, but they pass the office. "I think we're safe here, they checked every room except this one."

"Of course they did, nobody has the keys."

"What is your mission?" He asks, getting closer to her, watching as she goes through the papers.

"Who." She corrects him and he rolls his eyes.

"Fine, who is your mission?" He asks, standing behind her, trying to take a look at the papers. "I might be able to help, I was a thief, remember?"

"You still are a thief."

"Of hearts, yeah, sure." She scoffs, laughing.

"These people are dangerous, they are ordered to kill. Guard better."

"No, I prefer it here." He flirts and she rolls her eyes, sighing, when a beeping sound comes from her watch and panic washes her beautiful face.

"Fuck, they're coming." She turns around to come face to face with him, very, very close face to face with him and pulls him in a rushed kiss.

  
  


  
  


He leans down, meeting her enthusiasm with his own tongue eagerly, hands travelling to grip her hips as she pulls him even closer.

He's exploring her mouth with his tongue, her fingers going to run through his hair (well, his stupid blonde wig) and she pushes against him just _right_ and he groans.

She whimpers when he puts her on the desk, settling between her legs. The beeping sound gets higher, more rushed as she's moving against him and trying to undress him, loosening the tie, unbuttoning his shirt and her fingers ghosting over his jeans.

His hand goes from her breasts to her thighs, spreading her legs as his fingers find their way to her cunt and she moans from the touch.

They're still kissing, he registers the beeping sound ending in the back of his head, two fingers deep inside Allyria and swallowing her moans, when the door opens and an old, female voice yells out Allyria's name, making them freeze.

  
  


Allyria gives him a look meaning _something_ before wiping her face and turning around to face Olenna Tyrell whose look is like it's slowly killing them and the bad guys are behind her and Theon thinks, _fuck_.

"We're... I'm really sorry, I-"

"Shut up and leave." Allyria nods, grabbing his hand and pulling him away as he smirks at Olenna.

"Allyria, darling, finish what you started and then join me, I believe we need to talk."

"Alright." Allyria closes the door, silently screaming, panic across her face. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy _shit_. Shit, shit, _shit_." She looks at him and pulls him in another kiss, leading him to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Finishing what I started and then ending my mission, as Olenna said."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I totally wanna continue this as a series following FBI agents Robb, Brienne, Quentyn and Arys with Theon, the criminal consultant.


	3. Theon/Myrcella - bondage

Myrcella's blonde locks all over his bed, her legs tangling with his, her emerald eyes matching his in lust and pleasure only, her lips on his own, tongues exploring, her hands handcuffed to the bed.

  
  


Myrcella under him, his fingers inside her and her lips on his, he has her whimpering and he's swallowing her moaning his name.

"It's alright, baby." He whispers in her ear.

"Theon-" She moans, body whimpering, needy for _him_.

"Tell me." He's kissing her neck, leaving a soft mark, slipping another finger inside her, leaving her breathless.

"I-"

"It's okay."

"Theon, please."

"Please, what?"

"I want you inside me." He smirks, lubing his dick before going inside her and he groans into the crook of her neck as she moans at the sensation. He's kissing her neck, gripping her hips as she moves against him, with him.

"I wanna come, Theon. Please make me come." She says, breathless and he smiles into a kiss, fingers going to her move circles, his hips going faster as he is watching her as she is coming.

"Fuck, you're beautiful, Cella." He kisses her, feeling her smile.


End file.
